“Flanagan cautioned supporters that the Harper minority government needs time to broaden its voting base and sympathetic critics should not irrationally demand its political suicide by making unreasonable demands.

“In his book, there were tidbits for junkies – he admits the Conservative party feeds friendly online bloggers stories ‘that were not quite ready for the mainstream media.’”

***
I get sick of being accused of this, so I’ll reiterate it again: Flanagan sure as heck ain’t talking about me. The Conservative Party wants nothing to do with me.

Also: bullets are teenier than I thought. And I have one week to Sarah Connor my way to passing my gun test.

Boy, are my arms tired. Thank you, Men, for inventing guns with no regard for the weaker sex. Not only do we have little upper body strength, but rifles and shotguns are too long as well as too heavy.

The pump action shotgun was the worst. Your dreams of looking Die Hard cool go poof really fast when, like me, your fingertips can barely reach the pump-part. The instructor showed me an alternative way to fire it, but fire it I must do, next Saturday, unless he can talk the judge into letting me test on a lever action instead. (We don’t really fire these guns — they’ve been “fixed” to do everything but.)

Regardless, I have to be able to use three different rifles/shotguns WITHOUT PUTTING MY FINGER ON THE TRIGGER UNTIL THE VERY LAST SECOND DAMMIT. I didn’t even play with guns as a kid but that’s exactly where my finger goes, automatically. He said to pretend it was a mousetrap, so I will try. Two points off for each screw up like that.

The Lee Harvey Oswald-looking bolt action rifle was actually easier to use than I’d been led to believe after too many years in amateur buff-dom. We got to try a semi-automatic but it won’t be on the test, and neither will the break action (too easy apparently).  

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Ignatief is a moron about this. Just who is causing “divisions” among Canadians? How about the foreigners bringing in their stupid customs?

Anyway, I’m away all day and tomorrow at my long awaited gun safety course — yes, some of you should be very afraid!

So please visit SmallDeadAnimals and RightWingNews.

Also: Rachel Lucas has a post on a subject that’s one of my, well, not exactly “favourites”…

“People sometimes ask me why I don’t have pictures of myself on my blog, especially people who know me personally. I’m not a bad-looking woman, after all. Some people even think I’m pretty damn cute. Well you know, this is why. I can handle criticisms of my writing and my opinions, but I can’t handle strangers criticizing my FACE. Which is what happened in the old incarnation of my blog, when I had a couple of pics up. One blogger posted something like, ‘She’s not ugly but she looks like a major dork with a gummy smile.’ I got email saying, ‘You’d be cute if you had a stronger chin.’ I shit you not! People (always men) took time out of their day to tell me what was wrong with my LOOKS.”

Leaving aside the fact that Sarah Jessica Parker really does have a face like a horse (she says so herself in Ed Wood…), it’s worth a read. I’m guessing Rachel’s female readers said “right on” why the men were left scratching their noggins.  

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Liberals and libertarians are “vampire” people; conservatives are “Frankenstein” people. More proof here.

Please don’t think that it would be a really good idea to rent Last House on the Left because it is on this list. Just don’t.

However, if you want to see a liberal “why can’t we all just get along” vicar get zapped by Martians like he deserves, don’t miss the 1953 War of the Worlds, co-starring God.

PS: I’ve written about The Exorcist before.  And The Thing From Another World. (Blogger won’t let me fix their formatting screw up, sorry).

RightWingTrash and I don’t often agree on the definition of “conservative”, but he recommends Messiah of Evil (1973) and a couple of other obscurities.

“…whenever Democrats start speaking in religious terms, it usually starts with a quotation from Matthew, and about fifteen seconds later, starts sounding like a social worker’s pamphlet. You notice the most famous example, obviously, being Hillary Clinton’s Christmas message, when she said at this time of year, we celebrate the birth of a homeless person. You know, Jesus wasn’t homeless. He just happened to live in a jurisdiction where the cockamamie census required you to go to the town of your birth to register in for the census, which is the sort of crazy system only Massachusetts under John Kerry could come up with. But apparently, the Romans had it way earlier.”

Ooops, here’s the other half. Please: “Wanted Dead or Alive” is a way cooler song than “Eye of the Tiger”.

Among the many definitions of a “gaff” — such as, “when a politician accidentally tells the truth” — don’t forget to include the drag queen’s best friend.

Maybe I’ll tease out all the etymological threads later (I’m weird like that) but for now, let’s consider Joe Biden’s latest non-brain-tumour-related ooopsie:

“After a lengthy critique of Bush administration education policies, Biden attempted to explain why some schools perform better than others — for instance, in Iowa, as compared to Washington D.C. ‘There’s less than one percent of the population of Iowa that is African American. There is probably less than four of five percent that are minorities. What is in Washington? So look, it goes back to what you start off with, what you’re dealing with,’ said Biden.

“‘When you have children coming from dysfunctional homes, when you have children coming from homes where there’s no books, where the mother from the time they’re born doesn’t talk to them — as opposed to the mother in Iowa who’s sitting out there and talks to them, the kid starts out with a 300 word larger vocabulary at age three. Half this education gap exists before the kid steps foot in the classroom,’ Biden said.”

Forget Neil Kinnock (and who hasn’t) — I think Biden’s plagiarising Steve Sailer here.

Naturally, Biden’s people rushed to “clarify” the senator’s comments, effectively castrating him.

I guess both kinds of “gaffs” are more alike than you’d think.  

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The differences between Katrina and California:

“In New Orleans, on the other hand, when the assistance arrived, in effect they found the locals sitting on their hands, whining ‘What took you so long?  Get me out of here!’”

PS: I say the same thing to rich white Malibu residents as I do to the poor blacks in New Orleans — live somewhere else.

If stupid Federal/enviro-nut laws are keeping you from clearing your brush properly in order to prevent future fires — move. Those laws are stupid, but so are you if you keep making the same bad bet with your family and property time and again. Go, and take your bit of the tax base with you.

PPS: notice how many lefties are blaming the fires on global warming and/or Iraq — but not a single conservative (not even Glenn Beck) has blamed Muslim terrorists?

“Don’t you know who I am? I’m a reporter, dammit!”

Not quite clear on this whole “blogging” thing, doofus reporter who insulted an American soldier thinks “shutting down comments” and “editing his original post” is the proper protocol when you make an international fool of yourself.

Dancing condom educational video from India. (Make your own “catchy” puns…)

Ad crassness from around the world.  

Don’t panic: that funny feeling in your gut just means you’re what used to be called “normal”.

“…it believes in a new philosophy or ideology, which former Conservative Party campaign manager Tom Flanagan outlines in his recent book, Harper’s Team. This new ideology is seemingly based on four points: Winability, Incrementalism, Moderation and Persistence. I prefer to summarize it by the acronym W.I.M.P.

“What do WIMP Conservatives believe in?

“Well they actually don’t believe in anything. They don’t believe in conservative principles or values or ideals. And they certainly don’t believe in any kind of conservative vision for Canada. WIMP Conservatives, in fact, regard ideals and principles as nothing but obstacles to winning elections. And that’s all that really matters to them — winning elections. If they have to act like Liberals or Greens or New Democrats to win elections, well that’s what they will do.

Illegal aliens caught stealing wildfire relief supplies

“Liberals believe in burning the American flag, urinating on crucifixes and passing out birth control pills to 11-year-olds without telling their parents – but God forbid an infidel touch a Quran at Guantanamo.

“College campuses across the nation are installing foot baths to accommodate Muslims’ daily bathing ritual, while surgically removing the Ten Commandments from every public space in America. Maybe the Ten Commandments could be printed on towels and kept next to the foot baths.”