Thank God the FBI is tracking down terrorists — I mean, the blackmailers of pro poker players or something

I feel safer already!

“The FBI does not fly us out here and we don’t break into your door to talk to you if we don’t have a substantial amount of evidence against you,” Rogers said.

“If you’re going to tell me that some silly child who is in the East Coast and goes to college—who is 20—is the one behind it, I know you’re lying.”

Hey, here’s an idea:

Don’t photograph yourself having sex!

How many police investigations have we taxpayers been footing the bill for lately that all stem from the fact that some dumbass got drunk or stoned and had sex with someone, then photos of the sexual act got posted online, and then — shocka!!!! — bad stuff happened to somebody?

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