Under new proposals, anyone under the age of 25 who has a tattoo of a bull terrier’s face, refers to the police as ‘feds’ and suffers from the delusion that they are part of the criminal underworld will receive a modest weekly wage.
“Idiots will be classified as being in full-time employment as a hard person, even if the extent of their hardness is shoplifting bags of Nik Naks or vandalising the swings at the local playground.