Our life expectancy may have increased by ten years in the past half century, but our balls are 80% smaller.
This is a post-9/11 world and we should be concerned about access to the top of our new WTC, but that’s not the BASE jumpers’ fault. That’s our fault. By exploiting a hole in our armor, they did us a favor, a super badass favor. And it wasn’t just a hole in the gate at the top of the tower. They exposed a hole in the modern American way. The Freedom Tower itself is a giant testament to what pussies we’ve become. Why didn’t we just rebuild both towers from scratch on September 12, 2001? “Would you want your son to work in that tower?” replied one fireman at my gym to whom I proposed this scenario. Maybe not, but I don’t care if they became grain silos as long the towers that were there on September 10th remain there forever and NYC doesn’t retain a permanent black eye. I hate that extremist Islam can point to that stupid skyscraper as a trophy for the most effective attack on the Western world ever. It’s embarrassing.