May 17, 2016
Mark Steyn: ‘Captain America (Donald Trump) has gone to Avengers Headquarters in Washington for a showdown with Ryan-Man (Paul Ryan)…’
… over his plan to make America great again. Meanwhile, Rino-Man (Mitt Romney) and SuperPac-Man (Mike Murphy), who has the amazing superpower of being able to take $100 million and shrink it to a buck seventy-nine — now that their protégé Low-Energy-Man (Jeb Bush) is no more — are urging the Mighty Sasse (Ben Sasse) and the world’s oldest boy-sidekick Buckeye (John Kasich), whose superpowers don’t work beyond the state border, to jump into the fight against Captain America.
Captain America has the support of Newt-Man (Newt Gingrich) and the Incredible Bulk (Chris Christie) and the reformed evildoer Low-Key (Ben Carson), but which way will the Black Widow (Carly Fiorina) – she mates, she kills — which way will the Black Widow jump? Tomorrow night, Captain America has a romantic evening planned with the Scarlet Witch (Megyn Kelly)…