It’s my NEW Taki’s column, and I can tell you without even peeking that the comments from the He-Man Woman-Haters’ Club will be plentiful!
Sure, I enjoy the occasional hot fudge sundae or slice of good pizza (or six). But eating—or, more specifically, cooking—is mostly a chore, a duty, a speed bump. I’d rather be writing, reading—anything that holds out the promise of novelty, creativity, and discovery.
Eating, on the other hand, is so … ordinary. It feels more like a job than the activity it’s always so rudely interrupting: my actual work.
Long before I was old enough to earn a living, I was enchanted with the food pills on The Jetsons. Imagine: No dishes to do, no oven to remember (or, in my case, forget) to preheat before my mother got home. Such meaningless tedium. Didn’t my mother—didn’t the world—understand? I had better things to do.
(It doesn’t help that I’m also missing the gastro-porn gene. I hear tell that food-themed movies like Eat Drink Man Woman and Babette’s Feast and even 9 ½ Weeks are all terribly sensuous, or maybe sensual—I could never be bothered keeping those two straight. Whereas these “hot” films all leave me colder than yesterday’s leftovers.)
Essentially, if you had sex outside of wedlock, often with a prostitute (hence the “buttock” part, which was a slang for prostitute), and you were a Presbyterian in Scotland, you would often be given the choice of the Stool of Repentance or paying buttock-mail to stop from having to stand on a stool in front of everyone and get berated by your local minister for your lustful actions.
While the latter, perhaps, doesn’t sound so bad to modern thinking compared to having to pay a hefty tax to keep things quiet, without the option of buttock-mail, or if one couldn’t afford it, people are known to have killed themselves rather than have to face the Stool of Repentance and the “fornicator” label that would follow them in the aftermath.
Hugh [Hewitt] gives the book “five stars for funny plus despair-inducing”. I wouldn’t say there’s that much despair, but there’s certainly plenty of funny. [Un]documented is a grand cavalcade of my writing from the last couple of decades or so, from publications around the world – America, Canada, Britain and beyond – plus some favorite riffs from my guest-hosting stints for Rush Limbaugh and even from my stage appearances. It deals with all the big topics – like Islam – but also all the small stuff – like Kinder Eggs – that help illuminate the big picture.
This week Mark Steyn will also make guest appearances with Ezra Levant and Brian Lilley.
PS: I get a couple of mentions, so obviously you’ll want to read it…
“The British people have been let down that’s why UKIP is making ground. From Crewe to Cleethorpes, Hull to Hendon they don’t believe in Cameron’s referendum.
“Coalition could be a fact, with any party we could make pact. Stop telling lies about us you, and we’ll stop telling the truth about you. Oh yes when we take charge and the new Prime Minister is Farage…”
If you ever wondered why these people can’t get it together to do more than greedily wreck their own families by coming here to semi-competently look after yours, this may help.
Jim Goad writes:
Until convinced otherwise, I will continue to believe that “rights” can only be taken and never given. I will also continue to suspect that the struggle over these illusory and unquantifiable “rights” has nothing to do with freedom and is instead a battle over power. I should be used to it by now, but it continues to depress me when I observe the formerly “oppressed” morphing into despots the moment they get their claws on the whip handle. In the person of Annise Parker, the new boss is once again the same as the old boss—only this time she has a hag-faced wife and three kids that aren’t her own.
The hippies started small:
The Manson murders.
That guy who invented Earth Day killing his girlfriend, hiding her body in a wall and taking off for France.
(Remember: More people died in Ira Einhorn’s apartment than at Three Mile Island.)
The stupid Weathermen succeeded mostly in blowing themselves up.
Then it eventually dawned on hippies (probably during some pot-fueled rap session):
They needed to think big, like their totalitarian heroes — Mao, Che, Castro.
Forget this penny-ante nihilism and creative destruction.
Sure, the Bible might be mostly b.s., but that stuff about the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse was trippy:
Pestilence, War, Famine and Death.
(Although you may see me on Facebook.)
Here’s your weekly black and white “Indian Head” test pattern:
Grab a coffee and enjoy FREE audio highlights from the week in conservative talk radio, including:
- Glenn Beck vs. the disabled chicken
- Michael Savage under attack by CNN
- Rush Limbaugh talks about Mark Steyn’s new book
Laura Ingraham’s show is now available as a FREE 24/7 podcast on PodcastOne.
She talks to Adam Carolla about it, and other stuff.
Lady really admires Adam Carolla’s work ethic, was distressed about his tales of his childhood, and talks about seeing him on Jimmy Kimmel’s show: