Remember the good old days, when people ran away from their crappy countries and never went back?
They didn’t WANT to see their stupid, backward, buzzkiller relatives ever again. That was the POINT of immigrating.
I want to host a game show called Go Back Where You Came From.
It would be like Canada’s Worst Driver, but would be for Canada’s worst immigrant.
People would nominate that neighbor or co-worker they hate, and they’d come on the show (because few people can resist going on TV even for the worst reason) and besides a driving test, they’d get ranked on:
- lingering, unpleasant cooking aromas and loud screeching “music”
- disgusting cultural habits like spitting (and worse) on the sidewalk
- refusal to speak English (even when they know how)
- refusing to line up for stuff and resistance to other quaint Canadian customs, like decent customer service and not marrying your cousin
- overwhelming attachment to the “old country”
- overall belligerence and troublemaking
The nation votes a la American Idol and the loser gets stuck in a dinghy and pushed out to sea.
Yeah, you’d watch that.
An astute reader points out that the point-form list above is also an accurate description of Quebec.