And it does all come down to sex, doesn’t it? How we feel outside the bedroom directly impacts how we feel inside the bedroom. It is no secret that I have a spanking fetish and prefer to be with sexually dominant men, that I get off on not being the aggressor and not being in charge. I was a gender studies student.
“I am well aware that ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ are constructions, but for the sake of conversation, let’s assume they do exist.“ (…)
The older I get, the more I feel as though I don’t just want that dynamic entwined in the bedsheets—I want it in day-to-day life.
As you can imagine, I feel a lot of guilt for wanting this. Is it OK for me to be a feminist who believes women are strong and powerful, but to also want to feel protected by a guy? Is it wrong for me to want to feel taken care of? Do I just think there’s still an equal balance of power but really I’m deluding myself? Aren’t I being a hypocrite?
When I parse this out intellectually—and I have spent a lot of time doing so over the years—I know that it’s not. I believe it can work. But I also think I’ll have to be really judicious about finding a guy whose on the same page as me. I don’t suspect it will be easy to find.
But surprisingly, it is easy to articulate.
We did grocery shopping together today. After we came out of the store I said I wanted coffee, I got a “oh that sounds good” and off we went. We went through McDonalds and got coffee and had a Filet-of-Fish each. (OMFG I HATE THAT JINGLE) I get a “this was a fabulous idea” from her. She’s made happy by this. We did not cover this reaction in my Sociology of the Family course in college. Yeah… I have a degree in being non-dominant towards women. Waste of time and money. True story.
Speaking of such things… see, I told you:
The first thing that most girls notice in guys is what kind of shoes they are wearing.