Kathy – many thanks for your coverage of me and MakeLoveNotPorn on your blog/website.
I would have responded in the comments, but I wasn’t able to as they were closed.
I just wanted to explain a couple of things in response to your observations:
– you’re quite right that www.makelovenotporn.com is extremely cheap and basic, and that the comment streams go unmoderated/cleaned up a lot of the time. I put the website up on no money two years ago, simply because I encountered the behavior it seeks to address personally and decided to do something about it. My main startup is www.ifwerantheworld.com (just one year old in beta) which has me and my team completely up to our eyeballs in work, and unfortunately I have had no time, money or resources to spend on MakeLoveNotPorn since – so I have not been able to develop the site further, and it is difficult to always be on top of cleaning up the comment stream.
– I’m not actually suggesting that I’m the first person to have ever thought of or encountered the issues I’m tackling with MakeLoveNotPorn. Unfortunately our society is so puritanical and hypocritical when it comes to sex and porn – we all do it/watch it, no one ever talks about it – that in my view you can’t have too many people trying to encourage an open healthy dialogue around sex and porn. And equally unfortunately, even with the other people/movements you cite, there are still, nevertheless, all too few. When I come across something I feel strongly about, I like to do something about it, instead of simply presuming that others will instead.
– you’re also quite right that clitoral pressure is not the only influencer of the female orgasm. I acknowledge my inaccuracy in more detail in my short TED Book which you might enjoy reading (it’s only $2.99 and short 🙂 as it also explains in detail how and why I came to date younger men, and how what I am addressing with MakeLoveNotPorn does not characterize my entire dating experience with them.
Again, many thanks and I appreciate the coverage. I’m only too happy to chat on the phone or Skype if there’s anything you’d like to discuss about this with me.
All the best,
Here is my response:
Cindy, I appreciate you even taking the time to write. However, I have to laugh at your cliched comment:
I’m not actually suggesting that I’m the first person to have ever thought of or encountered the issues I’m tackling with MakeLoveNotPorn. Unfortunately our society is so puritanical and hypocritical when it comes to sex and porn – we all do it/watch it, no one ever talks about it – that in my view you can’t have too many people trying to encourage an open healthy dialogue around sex and porn. And equally unfortunately, even with the other people/movements you cite, there are still, nevertheless, all too few. When I come across something I feel strongly about, I like to do something about it, instead of simply presuming that others will instead.
This has been received liberal wisdom going back to Hugh Hefner. Surely you don’t believe that a society in which free porn is now available on the internet 24/7; where young women happily lift their shirts during Mardi Gras and Spring Break; where Bill Clinton remains a revered figure to millions after committing adultery — could possibly be described as “puritanical.”
(And you may want to look into the history of that word. Not surprisingly, since liberals write the history books and control the culture/media, those poor Puritans — like the Victorians — get a bad rap.)
As well, the notion that “hypocrisy” is the eighth deadly sin, and the only ones liberals actually care about, has been a deeply destructive one.
“No one ever talks about sex”? Cindy, this is the sort of cliched, 1950s era statement that prevents me from taking you seriously. Sex is almost ALL anyone ever talks about.
Next you’ll be telling me you believe the Kinsey Report, and that before Roe v Wade, thousands of women died in “back alley abortions”…
I strongly suggest you re-read the article I linked to in my original blog post. I’m suggesting that your project is based almost entirely on your/your readers’ personal experience, and has no foundation in history. If nothing else, your failure to fully digest this will only lead to disillusionment on your part down the road.
I know your generation is convinced it invented sex, and doesn’t realize how unseemly that attitude seems, and how unintentionally amusing.
If you find sex fascinating (and humanity always has) by all means write about your personal experiences and musings, and try to tease out what they all mean in relation to society, etc.
But the liberal boomer urge to validate every private, personal passion/neuroses into a public (policy) “cause” (complete with slogans and t-shirts) is so very very tiresome — and destructive.
Please tell me you aren’t coming out with a colored ribbon next.
Your “if we ran the world” thingie made me shudder. You guys — bi-coastal, privileged, artsy Obama voting liberals who, yes, go to things like TED — HAVE been running the world, and still do. The fruits of your 40 year reign include record divorces and teen pregnancies, mainstream drug use, the rise of political correctness, the acceptance of junk science/statistics to promote “causes” that turn out to be hoaxes, and the Manson Family — to name only a handful of horribles, as I haven’t had my first coffee yet.
And now it’s ready, so I have to go.