* I’m not sure when we started listening to sexless lesbians for heterosexual advice, but women don’t want to be cherished with permission. They want to be eaten alive. We didn’t get here by being cool to each other, so grab that broad and show her the evolutionary truth that she’s a mouse and you’re a snake. I’m not saying you have to rape her, but let’s stop pretending that “no” means “no.” “No” means “maybe.” THREE “noes” mean “no.”
* Wearing mandals reveals a level of shameless self-love that reminds me of a baby playing with his penis while he gets his diaper changed.
* On the show Shark Tank, I saw a young entrepreneur who received an offer to finance his invention, and he asked if he could phone to check with his spouse first. The investors pulled the deal. One of them said she doubts he has the chutzpah to run his own company. He has not received a blowjob since.