Someone should write a book called What Jesus Didn’t Say.
Maybe Mark Shea?
Cut to another sort of Bad Lip Reading, namely, the tedious attempt by modernist exegetes to make the Miracle of the Loaves and Fishes into the Miracle of Caring and Sharing. The point of the story is, in all four versions in all four gospels, that Jesus miraculously multiplied loaves and fishes just as the point of the resurrection narratives in all four gospels is that Jesus was raised from the dead in a glorified body and seen by many witnessess thereafter. That’s what the text says and it continues saying that even after one has made generous allowance for all the spiritual significance one can draw from these events.
What the texts do not say, what the texts are carefully written to reject and repudiate, are things like, “Jesus was such a warm and fuzzy person that everybody shared their lunch and, when he died and was eaten by wild dogs, they all hallucinated that he rose from the dead because it made them feel better.”