I remember when AdRants was well written

Now, behold some gems from someone named Steve Hall.

Either his boss in on vacation or Steve is being paid to write this stuff — not by the word, but by the syllable:

If you’ve been in the advertising business for any length of time then you are certainly familiar with Leo Burnett’s “When to Take My Name Off the Door” speech he gave in 1967, four years before he died at the age of 79. The speech, as the title implies, is about the certain circumstances under which Mr. Burnett would require his name be taken off the door. (…)

To some, Rock Paper Scissors is a serious sport. In Canada, it’s taken so seriously it’s become a new lottery game. And to hype the launch of the new game who better than a rock paper scissors champion to do the honors? We’re not quite sure what physical rock paper scissors skills has to do with winning a lottery game called Rock Paper Scissors but this is advertising and in advertising it’s all about the analogies.

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For some reason, all I can think of is Russ Meyer, forbidding his actors to blink.