We give political speeches altogether too much attention, but at least this one was entertaining:
I have it on good authority that some women find Boris Johnson irresistibly attractive.
Now, the Brits are a comparatively homely race of people, but I’ll admit to finding some Englishmen pretty damn sexy, even a few categorically ugly ones (a lingering side effect of my punk-rock girlhood). God in His mercy gave Englishmen those accents to distract the female of the species from their teeth; it’s proven to be one of His more successful brainwaves.
But Boris Johnson looks like a melting snowman that got raped by an albino sea anemone. Sure, he’s successful and reasonably witty. Normally, like most (sane) females, I value such attributes more highly than good looks. That said, I still can’t get past all those photos of London’s mayor wearing a hideous bicycle helmet (is there any other kind?)…or hanging impotently from a zipline in front of millions of onlookers, or basically almost any photograph with Boris Johnson in it, actually. Sorry.