Ha, just joshin’
Yesterday, “Mayim Bialik” was trending on Twitter, so I saw reactions to her NYT op-ed about Weinstein before I read the article.
The majority were, “Shut up bitch!” and “How dare you?” and “Victim-blamer!!!!”
Then lefty feminist Anne Lemott said it was a must-read.
Now, having read it, I see why.
And yet I have also experienced the upside of not being a “perfect ten.” As a proud feminist with little desire to diet, get plastic surgery or hire a personal trainer, I have almost no personal experience with men asking me to meetings in their hotel rooms. Those of us in Hollywood who don’t represent an impossible standard of beauty have the “luxury” of being overlooked and, in many cases, ignored by men in power unless we can make them money.
That would have appealed to Lemott. If you’ve ever seen her picture you know why.
I’m not being a cunt. (Entirely.) It’s the story of my life too. (Except for the “little desire to diet” bit.)
I was molested as a child but never harassed as an adult, at least as far as I can recall.
This is very old news for loyal 5FF readers:
I’m very short. I have “bitchy resting face”. For years I had glasses and crooked teeth.
The closest I’ve ever come to being “cat-called” was having boys yell something about my being ugly and laughing, (once circling me on their bicycles to do so) and (far more frequently) being commanded to “smile.”
I’ve been groped in a professional situation exactly once, by a comically/scarily drunk fellow who was doing it to every woman in the room, including middle aged me.
Then Balik really struck the haters’ nerves:
I still make choices every day as a 41-year-old actress that I think of as self-protecting and wise. I have decided that my sexual self is best reserved for private situations with those I am most intimate with. I dress modestly. I don’t act flirtatiously with men as a policy.
Now, she adds (repeatedly) that women should be able to dress and act however they wish.
But those add-ons predictably didn’t stop the haters from “how dare you”-ing her on social media (and, presumably, the NYT comments.)
Her last paragraph in particular must have stung:
And if — like me — you’re not a perfect 10, know that there are people out there who will find you stunning, irresistible and worthy of attention, respect and love. The best part is you don’t have to go to a hotel room or a casting couch to find them.
I’m pretty sure most of her haters are, unlike her, unmarried.
And can’t figure out why.
Sometimes I can’t figure out why I am married. I don’t think Arnie finds me particularly “stunning” and “irresistible.” But I’m on one side of the fence, and the haters aren’t. Balik is too, and that may be what’s really pissing them off.
It’s pretty embarrassing to be X years old and begin to get an inkling that you’ve been doing everything wrong — in both ways that phrase can be taken.